Let’s be real — if you’ve grown up in or around Indian households, you’ve witnessed some of the most hilariously irrational, charmingly bizarre, and wonderfully chaotic behavior on Earth. This isn’t a roast. It’s a love letter to the over-the-top, unapologetic madness that makes us Indian.
From putting “just 2 drops” of oil in food that still manages to fry your soul, to WhatsApp forwards that could pass as fictional novels — here are the sh*t Indians do that baffle, amuse, and occasionally terrify us (in the best way).
1. Plastic on Furniture Like It’s a National Treasure
Why sit comfortably when you can stick to your sofa like clingfilm in the summer? Indian homes are notorious for preserving their furniture under plastic covers like it’s going to be auctioned at Sotheby’s. It’s been 12 years, aunty. Let the poor couch breathe.
2. Saving Boxes for Appliances That Died a Decade Ago
That old Philips iron box carton? Still in the attic. The TV that was taken by scrap dealers in 2015? Its packaging is safely stacked in a sacred corner. Because you never know… you might need it “someday.” Spoiler: you won’t.
3. Using Expensive Cars but Bargaining Over 10 Rupees
Rolling in a ₹25 lakh SUV but arguing with the sabziwala over 5 rupees like it’s a matter of national economics. There’s something deeply satisfying in winning a bargain, even if it’s just psychological.
4. Saying ‘5 Minutes’ and Showing Up an Hour Later
Whether it’s guests, relatives, or your best friend — if they say “bas 5 minute,” just know they haven’t even left their house yet. We invented Indian Standard Time, and we abide by it religiously.
5. Obsessive Container Hoarding
Dahi containers become pencil holders. Diwali gift boxes store socks. And that old Amul tin now stores sewing kits. Reuse is a virtue, yes — but at this point, it’s a lifestyle.
6. Calling Every Drink That’s Fizzy a ‘Cold Drink’
Doesn’t matter if it’s Coke, Sprite, Pepsi, or some off-brand cola — it’s all “cold drink.” And if someone asks for water, it’s “normal or cold?”
7. Believing Ginger-Garlic Can Cure Everything
From fevers to heartbreak, there’s no ailment in India that can’t be cured by haldi, ginger-garlic paste, or a hot glass of water. Feeling sick? “Tulsi chai le lo.” Got a job interview? “Nimbu-mirchi lagao.”
8. Arguing With Google Maps
“Beta, this route is wrong. Go left.” You try to reason with Dad that the app shows traffic — but he insists. Next thing you know, you’re in a dead-end cow-filled alley. And it’s still your fault.
9. Washing Plastic Bags to Reuse Them (Again and Again)
Mothers will scrub, dry, and fold polythene bags with more care than your school uniform. You throw one by mistake and get the kind of look that’d make a horror movie villain blush.
10. Forgetting the Remote Is Right Next to Them
“Beta, remote dena.” It’s literally next to them on the sofa, but they’d rather call you from another room than reach 6 inches forward. Pure, undiluted desi energy.
11. Treating the Doctor’s Advice as a Suggestion
“Doctor ne bola sugar mat khaana.” Cue someone passing the rasgulla. Medical prescriptions are guidelines. Actual treatment involves prayer, ghee, and whatever your neighbor’s cousin’s daughter recommends.
12. Turning Off the Fan When You’re Sick
Running 102°F fever? Fan off. Because according to centuries of mysterious logic, fresh air will make you sicker. Sweat it out like a warrior!
13. Clapping to Call the Waiter (Bonus: ‘Bhaiya!’)
You’re at a restaurant. The family is hungry. What do you do? Clap. Loudly. And shout, “Bhaiya!” Even if the server is 30 years older than you. Because hospitality and hierarchy are best served together.
14. Worshipping Before Driving but Driving Like Fast & Furious
Key to safe driving? Put a garland on the steering wheel, ring a temple bell, and then floor it like Vin Diesel in a Maruti Alto.
15. Replacing Batteries in the Remote is a Last Resort
Tap it, shake it, flip the batteries around — but don’t replace them. That’s wasting resources. When the remote finally stops working, it gets demoted to “keep this, it might work later.”
Final Thoughts: It’s Not Weird, It’s Desi
We love to laugh at ourselves. And honestly, that’s the best part of being Indian — we embrace our eccentricities with pride. It’s chaotic, hilarious, and sometimes just plain illogical — but it’s ours.
So here’s to the uncles who argue with flight attendants, the aunties who carry pickle abroad, and the cousins who show up late but leave with food packed for the next three meals.
We may do some wild sh*t — but we do it with full heart, full plate, and full drama.
Tag your most desi friend in the comments. Or better — tag yourself.
